Cape Cod with Nana and other Memorial Day exploits

E and I have been busy this past week. We had a house guest Saturday-Monday -- Bogie the Corgie, Nana and Papa's dog. We went for 2 walks with Bogie and we discovered E likes the baby Bjorn. We also played mini golf on Sunday, which is kind of hard with a sleeping baby in a stroller. Mini golf places are not stroller or wheelchair friendly. We had to carry the stroller up and down lots of stairs. On Monday we went to a parade and a cookout. Munchie slept through the firing of the cannon. He will sleep through anything!

On Tuesday I packed up baby and myself and drove to the cape for an overnight with Nana, who had rented an efficiency for the week at the Holly Tree Resort. We arrived around 12:30 on Tuesday. We drove and walked around Hyannis, hung out by the pool, and had dinner back in the room. Munchie was really into checking out his new surroundings. There was one wall completely covered in a mirror, and he spent lunch on Nana's lap checking himself out in the mirror. Around 7 pm he was really fidgety and not nursing well. There was just too much to look at from the red diamond pattern on the couch to Nana. I was getting worried I wouldn't be able to settle him down to sleep the night. I decided to use his Daddy's trick of a dark room. So I took him into the bathroom, shut the door, nursed him a bit on the toilet (another bizarre nursing location) and rocked him. He eventually fell asleep and stayed asleep until 4.

Mom and I were going to sleep on the pullout couch until we discovered that you could feel every spring of the "mattress" and the metal support bars. So we had to move Munchie while he was sleeping in his pack n play to in front of the couch so we could pull out the murphy bed. I had an okay night sleep. Mom snored, baby made noise, and his machine went off once because of a loose lead. The most annoying thing was that he wouldn't settle back down after nursing so we laid on the couch until 6. We went off for an early breakfast at the Keltic Kitchen. E fell asleep while Mom and I dined on pecan raisin bread french toast and cheddar cheese pancakes. Afterwards E and I slept in the room for a couple of hours while Mom went off to paint. She accidentally drained her car battery and had to have some burly men from a fish store jump her car. After lunch we drove to Chatham and shopped. E did well but he wanted to be carried in the bjorn so we used his stroller to carry our purchases.

We went for dinner at Salty's and E fell asleep. I thought he'd stay asleep for the ride off the cape home. I ran into the hotel room to get the rest of our belongings but I returned to the car to discover him crying and Nana trying to comfort him. So we went back to the room where he nursed and Nana dressed him in his pjs. The drive home was fairly uneventful. E fell asleep about 5 minutes into the drive and slept until 4. Hubby/Daddy was happy to see us home.

And that was Munchie's first vacation. He did so well!

No swim suit for me

Argh! Buying a bathing suit is hard. It is something I always dread, and for such a hated piece of clothing it is wicked expensive! It isn't that my body looks all ugh after being pregnant. It is a little flabby but not embarassing. It is my breasts. They are a tad large -- like DD/E large. I tried on lots and lots of tankinis and one pieces and NOTHING would cover my breasts. I don't like when they sag out of the sides. It just looks and feels ridiculous. And it isn't that I was all about buying sizes I used to fit in. I tried all the way up to a 14 before giving up.

Munchie was very good in the beginning. But then he started to get ideas about eating the more he saw me taking my clothes off. So there I was in a Kohl's dressing room in my undies, perched on the little bench nursing. Munchie is a heavy breather and slurps a bit when he is hungry. I wonder what he sounded like to the other women who had no idea what was going on in our little stall. He probably sounded like a pervert with his heavy breathing. I tried talking to him so they would know I was feeding my baby. But I'm not sure if "is that good?" or "such a hungry little man" is any better.

Then we went to his Nana's and Grumpa's. He was much adored by all including his Auntie Lisa. I actually left him in the care of his Nana and went with Lisa and the kids to get ice cream. I feel comfortable leaving him with others. I know they will take good care of him and that I need a break too, but it is hard not to constantly be with him.

It is a zillion degrees here today. Munchie is sleeping naked except for his diaper. I took him down to the basement to cool off a bit, and now he is asleep in the pack 'n play.

Lonely

One of the things that I found most shocking after becoming a Mom is the loneliness. I always thought it would be awesome not to have to go to work and just hang out at home. It is, however, incredibly lonely and isolating. I love taking care of and spending time with Munchie, but I get bored easily. I end up calling Munchie's Dad at work to give him baby updates throughout the day. (One of the reasons we went over our cell minutes last month. Oops!) I don't think his Dad likes to hear about all the trivial stuff like our cat ate our dinner (steak) that I had taken out to thaw or that Munchie is in his 3rd outfit of the day because he is super poopy today, but he humors me because he loves me and knows I'm lonely. Today I called everyone I know and chatted on the phone. (There goes all our cell minutes.) At one point I had my exhausted son strapped screaming in his carseat all ready to go somewhere, anywhere. I looked down and noticed his droopy eyes and just how exhausted he was, and I thought how insensitive I was being to him. So I unstrapped him and laid him in his cradle, where he is now sleeping much more comfortably than in his carseat. I'm on the bed with Lily, our kitty (not the steak eating one), and thinking about how I conduct my state of affairs.

I don't think it's loneliness, but the change of pace of my life. Instead of being busy with projects and meetings, I only have the demands of my son. His demands are food, sleep, keep him clean and safe, and play. He lives at a much slower pace than I did when I was working. At work all my time had to be filled up, and now it isn't scheduled up. Munchie takes long naps, his play time consists of smiling at himself in a mirror for 10-15 minutes. I think I'd like to learn to live my life like him. He doesn't need material things or constant excitment. A simple helium balloon entertained him.

I have right now what I've always dreamed of. I have a husband who loves me, whom I can talk with, and who laughs at my "jokes", and we have an awesome son. We live in a nice house, and my parents live close enough that I can see them whenever. I think I need to learn to live in the moment and to live slowly. Life shouldn't be go, go, go, what can I do now, but enjoying what I do have and my time with my guys.

My goal will be to slow down and enjoy just being with my family. How many times in my life will I not have an obligation to a job? No meetings, no deadlines, just living at the pace of a 2.5 month old.

One if by breast, two if by plastic

There is just one light shining from the steeple here at chez Tigermommy's. Mr. Munchie dislikes the bottle. I bought practially every type of bottle and nipple that Baby's R Us sells, and none of them suited him. We spent an hour this morning trying them all. Some he gags on, some he sort of chews on, and none were good enough to latch onto. Mr. Munchie is going to be one hungry dude on my first day back to work. The lactation consultant at the Mommy's group told me I'm starting late introducing the bottle. She also said he just might not eat the first day I go back to work. Great, exactly what I needed to hear. It will be hard enough leaving him, taking the train into Boston, and working for 8 hours, but now I know he will be at home starving. No guilt here! I will just keep pumping and we will keep trying the bottles.

So remember for the next baby. Start the bottle much, much earlier than 10 weeks.

Right now he is staring, smiling and cooing at the milar helium balloon I tied to his bouncy chair. He thinks it is cool. He really needs a nap, which he doesn't think is so cool. He also needs a diaper change, which I don't think is so cool.

Rock-a-bye baby

Munchie slept in a cradle last night. I should be elated, but it proved to be a restless night for us all. He woke up every couple of hours (12:30, 4, and 5). He also moved around a lot, tried to suck his thumb, and just made a lot if noise. So score 1 for sleeping one night out of the car seat and minus 5 for wiggling about and waking up during the night.

Even though he was eating every couple of hours I was able to put him down in the cradle afterwards and he'd fall back asleep. I followed one of the parenting books' advice of nursing in the dark, not talking to him or changing his diaper. It seemed to work, but we had a little trouble finding my nipple in the dark. OUCH!

He was crying a lot this morning at 5. There was no way he could be hungry so I pulled my pillow over my head while his Dad tried to soothe him. He eventually fell back asleep until 7:30.

In other firsts he took a bottle from his Dad yesterday. Apparently, there was some screaming, falling asleep hungry and exhausted, and finally resigning himself to the bottle. He also had a bath without screaming. Hmmm... we shall see if any of this is repeatable.

10 weeks old today.

A thumb! I have a thumb!

Yesterday morning Munchie discovered that he has a thumb and that it works pretty well as a sucker. It happened while I was getting my breakfast and he was in his bouncy chair. I turned around to check on him and he had his right thumb in his mouth. It was very cute. He never was interested in a pacifier. He would choke on them and spit them out -- a bit of a drama queen. Unfortunately for him today he can't seem to find the elusive thumb that was there yesterday, so he's been sucking on his knuckles. Very funny.

His poor father yesterday had a really rough time. I was off at the library studying for my board exam in August, and the guys were at home. Everything started out okay. They had some play time and Munchie took a nap. However, we all know what happens when Munchie wakes up -- munching time and heaven help you if the food is delayed. They struggled with two different bottles for an hour before my presence was requested back at home and quickly. I came home and nursed and then went to Panera to study for a bit longer. I'm supposed to return to work in 3 weeks so this bottle feeding is something we are going to have to work on every day. The guys are off to Munchie's Nana's for bottle feeding instruction and support this afternoon.

Sleeping has been pretty bad too. Last night he was up 1:30-4:30 and then up again at 7:30. His Dad and I are exhausted today.

So many issues to tackle. The question is do we attempt to correct them all at once or focus on one at a time. The three big issues are 1) bottle feeding 2) sleeping at night in car seat and 3) not sleeping through the night.

New car and sleeping

Last night we picked up our new Saturn Vue and went for frozen yogurt to celebrate. (We can always find a reason to go to Capn Dusty's.) It is the first time we have purchased a new car in our entire lives. It is nice and shiny and has that new car smell. Munchie's stroller is already inside and a car seat base was installed by a nice Saturn worker. It is indeed an SUV, but a small one with decent gas mileage. We always thought our next car would be a hybrid or get 30 miles to the gallon. However, a hybrid's engine just doesn't have the pep I need to get onto 128 without being crushed by cars doing 70, and cars that get great gas mileage are tiny. Babies may be small and compact, but their gear is not, and we needed enough trunk space to haul a stroller and groceries.

On to my next topic -- sleep. Little Munchie for almost a week was sleeping 7 hours, but it kept getting less and less. Last night he got up at 2. UGH! I fed him in bed, changed his diaper and hopped back in bed to continue nursing. He ate his fill and laid there cooing and playing with his arms and legs. He was actually using his arms and legs to scoot over to me so he could continue to suckle -- not to eat but just to have in his mouth. I have a low tolerance for that. I'm not a toy and it hurts when it isn't actual nursing. By 4 I'd had enough and to his Dad he went. The little bugger fell asleep after 15 minutes of walking around.

I'm hoping that nice long sleeping stretch makes a comeback. I'd also like to work on getting him to sleep in a cradle or his crib -- enough with the car seat.

Wails of Despair

Most days Munch follows a routine, but then along come days like this when his shrieks due to his perceived abandonment make me so frustrated.

Our morning routine consists of diaper change and feeding around 5. Then Mommy is allowed to put him down in his bouncy seat for coffee and breakfast. Then another feeding, medicine, some snuggling, and then he lies in his crib and watches his mobile while I shower and dress. Then its his turn to get cleaned up and dressed. By then he likes to eat again.

Today he woke up at 3. I fed him, changed him, and rocked him for over an hour. He was wide awake and trying to charm me with huge smiles. But I was tired so into his crib he went to watch his mobile. I got up 3 times to reswaddle the little Houdini and restart the mobile. Finally, his Dad got up and took him downstairs where he promptly fell asleep in his play pen. Fast forward to 6ish, when I get up. He is hungry so I make my breakfast and feed him while eating. I give him his medicine, which I think came back up with all his spitting up. It is now 9 am and he is eating again. He refuses to be put down so I can shower. All he does is wail. I tried him in the play pen, crib (swaddled and unswaddled), bouncy seat, car seat, and on me in the baby carrier -- all result in "mommy how could you do this to me" shrieks of despair.. It is so frustrating. I'd love to brush my teeth and put my contacts in. 3 hours of straight holding him. My arms are killing me. I can't even get him out of his pjs. Please let me have enough patience to survive the day.

Adventures in breastfeeding

I'm sure I'll write that title a lot as my blog gets under way, especially since feeding your child by breast is hard and trying to have a bit of decorum in public makes it even harder.

Yesterday, I was feeling a bit stir crazy in the house, and I needed a new nursing bra, so off to the mall I took my little Munchie. He slept and slept until I was wandering around Talbots wondering if I would ever again wear clothes that weren't cheap cotton shirts able to withstand my son's battle with reflux. Munchie started to stir then the stirring turned to grunts then my little 12 pounder let out lots and lots of pooping farts. Ah, the sight of ladies' heads swiveling over the racks to look in my direction, and of course, they couldn't see the stroller just my head. We left quickly, and I began the debate of changing him at the mall or driving the 15 minutes home. I decided to change him, so to Macy's we went. He had had a complete blow out -- diaper, onesie, pants, car seat, socks all of it. During the changing he started to cry, par for the course when I have to take his clothes off, but the echo of his cries off all the tile really frightened him and the crying turned to an ear piercing wail made worse by the echo. Finally he was clean and he wanted to do what Munchie does best -- MUNCH.

When he wants to eat it has to be right at that second. There is no distracting him, no putting him off for even 1 minute. Luckily for me the women's bathroom had a lounge. Granted the white leather and chrome couch had seen better days decades earlier. It didn't matter. It was exactly what we needed. I could care for my hungry son and not have to put a blanket over his head. Obviously, I'm all for breastfeeding and I plan to do it for the full year. However, I find that people in the US stare or sneak peaks at a breastfeeding mom. Breasts are so taboo that people don't know what to do as a woman uses them as nature intended in public. So yes, I cover up his head when I breastfeed in public. But there in the lounge I felt safe. Thank you Macy's!!!!

Anyways, we finished up and continued our shopping. He gives great clothing advice for a 2 month old. He gave me a huge smile when I tried on a green top in what used to be my size pre-Munchie, but I think he just liked the way his food source was popping it out. Someday I'll be a medium again.